How do I stop being so anxious about labor?

I am a Type A, over-preparing, list-making, worst-case-scenario-running planner. Unashamedly. The kind of person who stress-researches things at 2am just to feel like I have a handle on them.

And somehow??? I married someone in the military. I live on call for babies who have absolutely zero interest in my schedule. And I built a career that is entirely, completely, 100% unpredictable.

Do I regret my decisions sometimes? Maybe... but I wouldn't trade my partner or this work for anything else. I'm choosing to believe the Universe is testing my ability to "roll with it." 

So when moms come to me in those last few weeks of pregnancy, spiraling about what could go wrong, terrified of induction, anxious about going into labor, and not knowing what to expect… I get it. I really, truly get it. That fear is real. And honestly? It makes sense.

We've been taught to be afraid of birth for a long time. By people and systems who, frankly, benefit and profit off that fear. So I'm not going to tell you to just relax or think positive. That's not it, and it's honestly fucking annoying to hear. 

What I am going to invite you to do is get curious.

Curious instead of afraid. Wondering instead of worrying. Here's what that looks like in real life:

Instead of what if something goes wrong… what if you got curious about how your body is going to handle this?

Instead of what if I can't do it… what if you wondered what it's actually going to feel like when labor kicks in?

Instead of what if things don't go to plan… what if you got excited about which birthday your baby is going to pick?

Because here's what I know for sure: your baby is choosing their birthday. Not you, not your OB, not your due date. Them. And there is something so freeing about leaning into that instead of fighting it.

This is also why I don't believe in birth plans. (Yes, I said it!)

I believe in birth preferences. A birth plan assumes you can control the outcome. Birth preferences say: here's what matters to me, here's what I've thought through, here are my preferences for all the different scenarios that could play out (even the ones I don't like), and I trust myself to roll with whatever comes next. Proactive, not rigid. Responsive, not reactive.

It's a small shift in language that changes everything about how you show up in that room.

If you're in those final weeks and the anxiety is getting loud… hi, I'm here. That's literally what I'm for.

Want to do this together? 

We can sit down and build out your birth preferences together so you can walk into labor feeling prepared AND flexible. It's one of my favorite things to do with families, and honestly the conversation alone turns the anxiety down a notch while teaching you your options. 

Schedule Your 1:1 Birth Preference Coaching Session Here 

And even if you're not quite there yet, try this the next time the anxiety creeps in:

Instead of fighting it, get curious about it.

Hm. What is this feeling trying to tell me right now?

That one little question has gotten me through a lot. I hope it does the same for you.

Happy you're here, 
Kyndrick