Your OBGYN Works For You
Hi Friend,
Before I became a doula, I had no idea how anyone picked their OBGYN. I figured you googled who was in-network and called it good.
YIKES. Big mistake.
I see it constantly: clients stuck with a provider who doesn't support what they want, appointments filled with anxiety, dismissed questions, and a whole lot of "don't worry about that."
So please hear me on this: your OBGYN works for you. Not the other way around.
You're choosing the person who will be in the room during one of the biggest moments of your life. Their philosophy, their habits, their hospital privileges, all of it shapes your options during labor. And most people spend more time researching pacifiers than their birth provider.
Here's the part nobody tells you: a provider can be lovely in a 15-minute appointment and still have a 40% cesarean rate. Great bedside manner doesn't equal aligned philosophy. You don't find that out by vibes. You find that out by asking.
I recently had a client (experienced, multiple unmedicated births under her belt) mention her (very reasonable) birth preferences to her provider at 35 weeks. His response? He couldn't deliver someone unmedicated and off their back. Said birth "isn't possible without intervention."
(He can perform surgery, but can't catch a baby without an epidural... BIRTH CAN'T WORK WITHOUT INTERVENTION?!?! Someone come get this man a "birth for dummies" book. But I digress.
Because she asked, she found out before labor and switched providers at 35 weeks. Late is not the same as too late.
The questions that actually reveal who your provider is sound like:
"What's your approach if labor is going slowly but baby and I are both doing fine?"
That one question tells you SO much. Some providers genuinely trust the process. Some start mentioning Pitocin before you've finished your sentence.
But honestly? The questions are only half of it. The real skill is knowing what to listen for in the answers; the green flags, the polite brush-offs, the "don't worry, I'll take care of everything" that should make your ears perk up.
I break all of that down in this week's blog:
And if you want to skip straight to the good stuff: I put together my 12 Questions to Ask Your OBGYN. The exact list I give my doula clients as a free download. Bring it to your next appointment. No blanking in the exam room, no "I'll ask next time" (you won't, we both know this).
Because the first person to touch your baby should be someone you chose and respect. On purpose.
Happy you're here,
Kyndrick
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